Ladies, I am going to tell you a secret. It will take a while to sink in. All the lies you tell yourself about yourself, they aren't even what you think they are.
See there are men in this world more cunning than you can possibly
think through, and they've given up on you from the very start. All
they see you as is a money-grubbing object of desire for other men.
In exchange for your faithfulness to a schedule, title and
paycheck, they are happy to fill your life with material goods and
a persona that makes you out of reach for the less rarefied male.
Oh sure, there are men in your league, but they are just as
corrupted - good luck with an affirming relationship. The secret is
that if these things make you happy, they are all you will ever
But why??? That just sounds so crazy.
If you went to public school, you're already there. The crazy overjealous girl that would make up lies just deny a relationship between one of her friends and another popular guy - these men are no different. They see all of society this way. This secret to social interaction is that the man or woman most eager to get to the top usually does so, in a non-virtuous society. He does it ultimately not because he is the best and most confident, but because he is the most insecure and needs society to affirm his perception of himself. He needs to maintain a social pecking order to keep competitors at bay. He wants to fend off the competition and will stop at nothing to do it.
Real men, real women are not like this, unless they fall for the lies of their "higher ups."
The people you listen to are typically out to help themselves. It's time to start listening to yourself.
Being real is knowing the truth by yourself. It's not cynical or isolationist though, unless everyone else is truly wicked. But you can't befriend wicked people anyway. It's not real friendship. Once you recognize the truth in yourself, you can more easily recognize when you find it in others.